The Eclipse
She felt happy as she stood there staring the ocean with his arms around her. She felt secure with him around her, overwhelmed by the vastness of the ocean. She thought how small she was in comparison to the big universe she’s in, like a speckle in the vast ocean. A vague sadness descended on her, she wanted to go back to their room.
She clung to him as they walked. She jumped on him from behind as they entered the room, they fell onto the bed. As he turned around, he transformed into an ugly middle aged man. Repulsion showed on her face, as the creature gave a wily smile. The creature embraced her gently and asked her to come near him. She reluctantly obliged, his ugly lips hungrily kissed her. As he removed his shirt, she turned back and closed her mouth, as if to prevent herself from uttering something. He pulled her towards him. His dark hands silhouetted against her fair skin.
She loved him as much as she loathed him. The thought of offering her tender body to this creature instigated mixed feelings of lust and loathing in her mind. It was perverted, it was adventurous. She thought she never deserved physical beauty, but somehow she was born with it. She remembered the handsome young men who were after her during her university days, but there was something missing. She felt she never deserved a good looking man as she was never supposed to be beautiful in the first place. She had been showered with so much attention that she never had to marry a handsome man to assert herself her beauty. The thought that she married this ugly monster would kill them, they would hate her, and they would continue to be intrigued by her, they would continue to be her admirers, her lovers forever. That was enough for her, the everlasting admiration. She imagined looking at them in the eye, as she surrendered her beautiful untouched body to this creature. Ah, what an enjoyable feeling it would be, she thought, to see their eyes burn with jealousy, disbelief and utter contempt. What if she had married one of them, soon he would get used to her, and no one else would really care, as it was as ordinary as it could get.
People stared at them in the cafes, from the moment they walked in. She loved the attention. She could imagine the thoughts that would cross their minds. They would picture them in bed, making love to each other. It killed them, they couldn’t help but give her that stare, in an attempt to let her know, their disbelief. It was most obvious when it was a young men’s group or an old women’s group. The young women never seemed to care much; at least they acted as if they didn’t. The older men, it never seemed to bother them much, except when they were alone. An elderly lone man was the worst; he would just stare at her between every sip of his coffee. She would put on a smirk on her face; she knew her husband never got it, when everyone else in the restaurant knew.
She knew her husband was not a simple minded man; there were several layers to his character. He felt proud about the fact that he could win the love of such an adorable woman. He had the intelligence to recognize the shallow feelings his wife harbored in her mind, even though it was less obvious to him as it was to others. Yet, he was gentle towards her and was happy to perform his role as a devoted husband in exchange for his beautiful possession. But he needed a lot of physical assertion. He loathed his body; he knew no woman in her right mind would ever share a bed with him. And so he transformed himself into this gentle and affectionate man. He always projected himself as a goal oriented ambitious person, identified himself with such a character, and finally started believing that her was truly such a man. His cunning mind realized her low self-esteem very early in the relationship, he could easily steer the relationship to a marriage with that knowledge. She wanted a fatherly figure who could control and protect her. And so, she would expect him to be commanding in their relationship. She thought that if she punished herself by accepting this ugly man, life would make up for it by other means, like a high economic and social status.
The beast pulled her close to his body. Like a lunar eclipse, her tender body was soon engulfed by darkness.
She clung to him as they walked. She jumped on him from behind as they entered the room, they fell onto the bed. As he turned around, he transformed into an ugly middle aged man. Repulsion showed on her face, as the creature gave a wily smile. The creature embraced her gently and asked her to come near him. She reluctantly obliged, his ugly lips hungrily kissed her. As he removed his shirt, she turned back and closed her mouth, as if to prevent herself from uttering something. He pulled her towards him. His dark hands silhouetted against her fair skin.
She loved him as much as she loathed him. The thought of offering her tender body to this creature instigated mixed feelings of lust and loathing in her mind. It was perverted, it was adventurous. She thought she never deserved physical beauty, but somehow she was born with it. She remembered the handsome young men who were after her during her university days, but there was something missing. She felt she never deserved a good looking man as she was never supposed to be beautiful in the first place. She had been showered with so much attention that she never had to marry a handsome man to assert herself her beauty. The thought that she married this ugly monster would kill them, they would hate her, and they would continue to be intrigued by her, they would continue to be her admirers, her lovers forever. That was enough for her, the everlasting admiration. She imagined looking at them in the eye, as she surrendered her beautiful untouched body to this creature. Ah, what an enjoyable feeling it would be, she thought, to see their eyes burn with jealousy, disbelief and utter contempt. What if she had married one of them, soon he would get used to her, and no one else would really care, as it was as ordinary as it could get.
People stared at them in the cafes, from the moment they walked in. She loved the attention. She could imagine the thoughts that would cross their minds. They would picture them in bed, making love to each other. It killed them, they couldn’t help but give her that stare, in an attempt to let her know, their disbelief. It was most obvious when it was a young men’s group or an old women’s group. The young women never seemed to care much; at least they acted as if they didn’t. The older men, it never seemed to bother them much, except when they were alone. An elderly lone man was the worst; he would just stare at her between every sip of his coffee. She would put on a smirk on her face; she knew her husband never got it, when everyone else in the restaurant knew.
She knew her husband was not a simple minded man; there were several layers to his character. He felt proud about the fact that he could win the love of such an adorable woman. He had the intelligence to recognize the shallow feelings his wife harbored in her mind, even though it was less obvious to him as it was to others. Yet, he was gentle towards her and was happy to perform his role as a devoted husband in exchange for his beautiful possession. But he needed a lot of physical assertion. He loathed his body; he knew no woman in her right mind would ever share a bed with him. And so he transformed himself into this gentle and affectionate man. He always projected himself as a goal oriented ambitious person, identified himself with such a character, and finally started believing that her was truly such a man. His cunning mind realized her low self-esteem very early in the relationship, he could easily steer the relationship to a marriage with that knowledge. She wanted a fatherly figure who could control and protect her. And so, she would expect him to be commanding in their relationship. She thought that if she punished herself by accepting this ugly man, life would make up for it by other means, like a high economic and social status.
The beast pulled her close to his body. Like a lunar eclipse, her tender body was soon engulfed by darkness.
posted by Sidharth @ 2:16 PM
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